A beautifully told lie.

Sorry to kick things off on such a morbid note but as one of life’s only real inevitabilities, death will touch us all in some way. Mortality truly is a universal concept, yet how we interact with it is deeply personal and so often informed by cultural and generational factors. Grief effects everyone in different ways, yet its singular ability to pull people together is unparalleled.

Again, apologies to be such a downer but earlier this year I lost my grandma and, consequently, my last remaining grandparent. As you can easily imagine, it was an incredibly sad time and left behind the stinging realisation that an entire generation of my family had now gone, but it also offered a chance to look back, reflect, and celebrate the moments that formed our relationship. 

Considering this, I was always likely to be left wide open to the emotional punch The Farewell was packing. It’s certainly a film that presents itself as a refreshingly honest portrayal of a subject that’s still very raw to me, yet, however much you ready your emotions for such an impact, sometimes nothing can prep you for a film as heart-warming and unassumingly affecting as this. 

Based on a true-life lie, the world of aspiring Chinese-American writer Billi (Awkwafina) is thrown upside down when her Nai Nai (grandmother) is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, a fact compounded by her family’s steadfast refusal to tell her she’s dying. Under the guise of a hastily planned wedding, the entire family gather back in China to stealthily say goodbye to their beloved matriarch. But, with the notoriously emotional Billi struggling to bottle up her grief, she must do everything she can to bid farewell without giving the game away.

For any avid listener to the This American Life podcast (myself included), the real-life story behind The Farewell will be a familiar one. The tale – based on writer-director Lulu Wang’s own family – is one of the most popular in the show’s history and has been replayed frequently over the years. Yet, no matter how often I’ve heard it, the story gets me every single time.

Losing my nan just a few months ago certainly adds another layer to what’s already an acutely emotional tale, but there’s something in the multi-faceted narrative that will undoubtedly hit home for many out there. As a podcast, it’s a beautiful story that encompasses everything from cultural and generational divides to family and mortality. It’s the kind of deeply personal yet utterly relatable tale that’s tailor-made for big screen and, thankfully, Lulu Wang has done her own story the cinematic justice it deserves. 

Playing its cards close to its chest, The Farewell isn’t an overtly sentimental film, yet it certainly knows when to show its emotional hand when necessary. Through Lulu Wang’s deft, low-key script, The Farewell’s deadpan humour works seamlessly in tandem with its morbid tone, weighing the emotions out perfectly to counterbalance the heaviness and complement its multi-layered themes. 

Embracing life, love, culture, tradition, immigration, and generational divide, Wang constructs a multi-faceted, deeply affecting, and beautifully balanced ode to the complex family ties that bind us. While the film could’ve easily gone for the easy play and piled on the sentimentality, Wang’s admirably restrained tone, like Billi herself, never lets its emotions get the better it.

Key to this, Awkwafina’s presence is restrained but powerfully affecting, with perfect comic timing and an effortless, natural charm that helps compliment the film’s duelling tones. Forced to shut down her emotions, Billi is a character caught in an emotional, cultural, and familial no man’s land, consumed by grief at the inevitable loss of her Nai Nai, angry at the confusing customs of a culture she feels disconnected from, but ultimately relieved to just be there among her family at such an important time.

With her star continuing its ascent, this is a performance unlike anything we’ve ever seen from Awkwafina. Known largely for broad comedic roles in the likes of Crazy Rich Asians, Awkwafina’s turn here is something else entirely, offering a glimpse of her understated dramatic talent as her burgeoning career looks set to hit new heights. 

Around her, Awkwafina is complemented by a rich ensemble bursting at the seams with heart, humour, and warmth. Every member of the family around Billi brings something to the table, offering fantastic natural performances that are both distinctly tied to Chinese culture, while their bickering and joking feels like it could come from any family anywhere in the world.

An ensemble comprised largely of unknowns, bolstered by seasoned faces like Tzi Ma, come together to give a collective performance that feels both tightly knit and organically loose. As a focal point for all this, the meal scenes are a thing of chaotic joy, as steaming bowls of soup and heated conversations are flung across the table like confetti.

Which brings us neatly to the centrepiece of the film – the wedding itself – by which point we’re fully immersed in the family, making Nai Nai’s tragic ticking time bomb at the heart of the plot hit just that little bit harder.  As the focal point of the script, the wedding is simultaneously awkward, heart-breaking, and hilarious, offering both the biggest laughs and most painful emotional gut-punches of the film.

Of the extended cast, it’s first time actress Shuzhen Zhao as Nai Nai that steals the show. In her breakthrough role at the sprightly age of 75, Zhao is an absolute revelation as she brings strength, wisdom, and withering humour to the role. There’s a calm pathos to Zhao’s performance that really comes to the fore in her scenes with Awkwafina – heart-warming and heart-breaking little conversations that form The Farewell’s backbone and ensure that the film remains centred even at its most chaotic.

The plot itself is simple but hugely effective. Having roots in Lulu Wang’s own life certainly helps with the impact of a narrative that ran the real risk of becoming overly sentimental. The hook of the lie at the plot’s centre is certainly an intriguing one and manages to take the film a long way, offering a narrative drive that often goes missing in many low budget indie efforts.

The film’s central conceit is a moral and cultural conundrum that draws you in and leaves you questioning where your loyalties might lie in such a situation, as Lulu Wang builds upon this plot foundation to offer something both unique and thought-provoking. A balance like that is certainly not easy to pull off but Wang does so in style, with a well-crafted script and an assured filmmaking style that combine to powerful effect.

Refreshingly honest and deeply human, Wang tells her own story with heart and passion to spare as she paints a complex portrait full of huge issues that play out in the most intimate of situations. To compose such a picture at such an early stage of her filmmaking career is not to be underestimated, as Wang showcases a directorial flair well beyond her years. 

Meticulous shot composition and immaculate framing inject every scene with a naturalistic beauty, even in the film’s more chaotic moments. Paired with Alex Weston’s beautifully stirring, string-led score, the gorgeous cinematography and Lulu Wang’s assured direction pack a startling emotional punch that’s simultaneously raw, relatable, and life-affirming.

Poignant, personal, and utterly charming, The Farewell deftly encapsulates the complex dynamics of family and culture as Lulu Wang spins a tale that’s both deeply specific and completely relatable. Built on the back of a career-defining performance from Awkwafina and bolstered by a charming ensemble, The Farewell has fun with the quirks of its central story while knowing precisely when and where to hit its emotional beats. Striking a deft tonal balance, Lulu Wang manages to hit at the heart of what it means to be part of a family, yet completely disconnected from them. Approaching the looming spectre of death with warmth and humour, The Farewell will leave you glassy-eyed and running to your nearest available grandparent for the biggest hug they can handle.