Is it time for this to finally head for the sunset?

You know how the saying goes: in this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes, and the inexplicable box office success of a Pirates of the Caribbean film. Or something like that.

Despite the relentless critical bombardment and their increasingly scant regard for quality control, the theme park ride-turned film franchise have been Disney’s go-to franchise for well over a decade now. Much like Michael Bay’s Transformers, the Pirates films have been earning billions of box office dollars worldwide as they continually fly in the face of both critics and common sense.

The future of this box office success should not be taken for granted however, as there are clear signs that things aren’t what they once were. What started out as a passably entertaining high-seas adventure, built around one of Hollywood’s premiere stars (at the time, at least), has found itself inexplicably obsessed with unnecessarily ponderous plots, bad jokes, eye-wateringly bland characters, and overblown action. It’s all got to the point that Pirates fatigue, even amongst the franchise’s hardcore fan base, is a very real possibility.

The lengthy gap between Salazar’s Revenge (or Dead Men Tell No Tales to some) and previous outing, On Stranger Tides, speaks to the clear caution within Disney towards their property and a severe lack of confidence in its ongoing popularity. The six-year hiatus should be ample time, however, to sit down and plot a course for a brighter franchise future but, while Salazar’s Revenge is far from the worst entry in the series, it does little to offer any hope that the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has much wind left in its sails.

At rock bottom and without a crew, it looks like luck has finally run out for Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). Muddy, miserable, and in need of a drink; Jack desperately trades in his precious compass for a bottle of rum, unwittingly releasing a deadly band of ghost pirates in the process. Led by the infamous Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem), this blood-thirsty crew of the undead appear hell-bent on revenge, wasting no time in conquering the high seas before hunting down the author of their misery, Jack Sparrow himself. Meanwhile, young Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites) approaches Jack, pleading for help in locating the Trident of Poseidon; an artefact he believes will lift the curse inflicted upon his father Will Turner (Orlando Bloom). With Sparrow reluctantly agreeing to join Henry, the two recruit astronomer and horologist Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario) as chief navigator after she claims to know the mystical relic’s location. With Salazar in hot pursuit, Captain Jack and crew must put aside their differences in order to track down the trident before it’s too late.

As compliments go, calling Salazar’s Revenge one of the better instalments in the Pirates of the Caribbean series is about as back-handed as it gets. Not since The Curse of the Black Pearl, however, has the franchise been anywhere near this tolerable. That isn’t to say Salazar’s Revenge is a particularly good movie, because it really isn’t, but it does go a long way to stem the franchise’s continual tide of toxic waste. Cutting loose much of the fat built up from previous outings, the plot of Salazar’s Revenge stays mercifully focused and, after the unnecessary excess of On Stranger Tides (the nadir of the series so far), that goes a hell of a long way with these films.

Although the plot feels painfully predictable and wholly forgettable, at least it’s to the point and, while the film continues with the franchise’s odd and irksome obsession with people chasing meaningless, mystical MacGuffins, it’s been mercifully toned down this time. Granted, this Trident of Poseidon doodah represents one of the most pointless mystical objects to date however, the chase for it is a mercifully straightforward one, containing far fewer tedious tangents and creating a far more streamlined affair.

Not exactly known for his subtleties, any film under the Jerry Bruckheimer production banner that decides to cut to the chase is a very welcome one and, for all its faults, Salazar’s Revenge largely dispenses with franchise and its producer’s more exasperating excesses. With a far more focused plot, however, it leaves precious few places for your film’s more glaring faults to hide. With the bloat from previous instalments largely gone, it gives Salazar’s Revenge little margin for error as irritating aspects that would otherwise become lost in the hubbub, suddenly find themselves in full focus.

Chief among the film’s many pratfalls is once again Johnny Depp, whose increasingly grating pantomime turn as Jack Sparrow has become impossible to avoid as the franchise has progressed. What began as a typically quaint, idiosyncratic Depp performance has, over time, become a classic lesson in over-egging a pudding. While the piratical Keith Richards shtick originally felt inspired, the performance has become nothing more than a string of rather irritating ticks and quirks that serve little purpose other than to make you nostalgic for those simpler times in Depp’s career.

Despite declining popularity and amidst a whirlwind of personal, Depp’s star-power continues to cling on, so it’s perhaps understandable that the actor is still utilised as the franchise’s poster boy, but there’s little evidence in his performance here to suggest that this should continue to be the case going forward. Captain Jack’s influence on the film’s plot is at an all-time low, as he spends far more time falling over like a clownish sidekick than any form of the figurehead he used to be and, if the franchise is to have any future past this point, Depp’s continues involvement must be discussed. As wild as a Pirates of the Caribbean franchise without Captain Jack Sparrow sounds, it could be just the kick up the arse the series needs.

Even Johnny Depp’s biggest overindulgences may have been forgiven, if the ensemble cast were able to cover for him, but the distinct air of boredom that permeates the film’s supporting players leaves many performances feeling as lifeless as Salazar’s crew. While they’re often worth the price of admission on their own, the indisputable talents of Javier Bardem and Geoffrey Rush are given short shrift with a lacklustre script and uninspiring character development that leaves both seasoned actors cut adrift and clearly wondering when they’ll next get the chance to have a stern word with their agents.

As for the newcomers, Brenton Thwaites and Kaya Scodelario are like-for-like replacements for Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley in both looks and character development. Their resemblance and mannerisms are so oddly similar to their predecessors that it feels like they were created in a Disney lab somewhere but, while Thwaites’s Henry Turner feels every inch the wet blanket his father was, Kaya Scodelario breaks free of Knightley’s shadow to become the film’s true ray of sunshine amongst the fog.

Despite her tender years, Scodelario has been around since a minor part in the superb Moon and it’s clear she’s destined for far bigger things. Exuding a natural charm and onscreen presence, the actress takes to the rigors of mega-budget, franchise filmmaking with consummate ease and her effortlessly magnetic personality succeeds in overshadowing everyone around her. As the only female character of any real significance, it’s great to see clear evidence of Carina’s physical and mental strength and, as Hollywood struggles to keep up with society’s progressing gender dynamics, it’s great to witness such a strong female character involved in such a strong and important role.

Her performance is a rare gem in in an otherwise grey and soulless affair and it certainly isn’t enough to mask what are becoming glaring faults in the franchise. Despite its tighter story, there’s no escaping just how tedious the entire film is. One or two smartly conceived set pieces aside, Salazar’s Revenge offers precious little genuine innovation and, while this factor won’t be too high up the priority list for those willing to shell out for a blockbuster based on a Disneyland ride, there’ll soon come a time where audiences will grow tired of it.

The bar has been set so low with previous Pirates of the Caribbean instalments that it feels redundant to exclaim Salazar’s Revenge as one of the better films of the franchise, but it’s a mark of how bad things have become that a relatively focused plot and charming performance from its female lead are enough to put the film at the top of the class. Ultimately though, Salazar’s Revenge feels about as bland as a blockbuster can get and, due largely to Johnny Depp’s overcooked performance, it all makes for a rather dismal viewing experience.

Leaving the Teflon-like box office performances of the Pirates films to one side for a moment, and despite the dangling narrative threads left hanging at the film’s conclusion, Salazar’s Revenge very much feels like the last ride for Depp and co. It’s been a long old time since The Curse of the Black Pearl first introduced us to the world of Captain Jack Sparrow and a hell of lot has changed to the blockbuster landscape since. With Pixar, Marvel, and Star Wars now firmly under their belt, it’s clear Disney no longer need the Pirates franchise to keep them afloat and, with spiralling budgets and rapidly diminishing quality, the time feels right to finally cut this weathered franchise adrift once and for all.