EAT • SLEEP • REVIEW • REPEAT
MEAN GIRLS
Not particularly fetch.
For a film released two decades ago, the continued cultural impact of Mean Girls is pretty damn incredible. For any movie to remain relevant over the course of twenty years is quite an achievement on its own, but layer on the fact that said movie was part of the much-maligned 2000s high school comedy boom, and its ongoing success feels even more impressive.
Regardless of age, gender, or any other social demographic you can throw at it, Mean Girls’ appeal is remarkably wide ranging and continues to connect with audiences on a level so few of its teen comedy contemporaries can touch.
Which begs the question – what the hell is the point of a Mean Girls remake? Especially one arriving so soon after the original?
Returning to America from Kenya where she was home-schooled by her mother, sixteen-year-old Cady Heron (Angourie Rice) is welcomed into the top of the social food chain by an elite group of popular girls called the Plastics, ruled by conniving queen bee Regina George (Reneé Rapp). However, when Cady makes the major misstep of falling for Regina's ex-boyfriend, she soon finds herself caught in their crosshairs. As Cady sets to take down the group's apex predator with the help of her outcast friends Janis (Auli'i Cravalho) and Damian (Jaquel Spivey), she must learn how to stay true to herself while navigating the most cutthroat jungle of all: high school.
Let’s be honest, as is the way with the film industry, a Mean Girls remake was always going to happen eventually. It’s just how it goes. You wait around long enough, and Hollywood will find a way to rehash just about anything. However, in hindsight, they probably should’ve waited a little longer with this one.
Whether it’s of a classic or derives from something more obscure, with any remake, it’d be foolish not to expect a little familiarity, however, offering something genuinely different shouldn’t be too much to ask for. No one truly expects a remake to be completely unique yet possessing its own identity and offering something - anything - that allows it to stand out and stand apart from its predecessor feels like a bare minimum requirement.
To its credit, this “modernised” version of Mean Girls - released almost twenty years to the day since the original - makes the ballsy decision to transform the entire story into a musical. This move, in and of itself, is a gallant one and shows at least a little desire to push the boat out creatively, however, as far as originality goes that’s about all there is to see here.
Even considering the long history of abject unoriginality associated with Hollywood’s never ending remake obsession, Mean Girls really takes the biscuit. Make no mistake, this version of the 2004 original is a word for word, bar for bar cover that, despite bolting a collection of songs onto it, makes little effort to back it up with anything else even remotely original.
It is, for all intents and purposes, the exact same film as its predecessor. Same plot. Same story beats. Same jokes. Same characters. Even a few of the same actors. It’s the same everything, really.
Of course, being that we’re two decades removed from the Lindsey Lohan version, there are updates to the story here and there, but such attempts at modernisation feel somewhat superficial. Whether it’s large chunks of TikTok footage, random Megan Thee Stallion cameos, or gratuitous ELF makeup product placements, the aesthetics of modern-day teen life come through loud and clear, however, so little of it actually adds anything of substance to proceedings.
Such updates are almost impossible to avoid for any contemporary high school movie, yet its deployment here is unremarkable and utterly devoid of spark. Feeling every inch the corporate product it is, these modern touches are mere window dressing, all hung with a disappointing lack of panache, imagination, or anything close to what made the original Mean Girls tick.
This version’s biggest creative swing, its songs, do occasionally wake the film from its slumber to add some seasoning to the blandness, yet their inconsistent quality does little to alleviate Mean Girl’s glaring issues. Poppy, bright, and impossibly shiny, whether it’s big showtune singalongs like ‘Stupid With Love’ or smooth pop numbers like ‘Not My Fault’, Mean Girls’ songs do occasionally boost the film’s energy, however, there’s a hollowness to it all that just cannot be ignored.
Some songs work, some don’t. Those that do briefly spark things into life and usually rely on the chops of the film’s standout, Auliʻi Cravalho, to get by. As the undoubted star of the show, Cravalho is a truly magnetic performer that’s comfortable with both the acting and the musical performance sides of the role, and despite not actually being Mean Girls’ lead, frequently outshines her co-stars.
Whether its Angourie Rice as Cady or Reneé Rapp as Regina George, the cast around Cravalho are all perfectly likeable and put in a very solid shift, however, that’s about it. Like the rest of the film, the ensemble just feels a tad lacking. Not overtly bad, per se, just disappointingly middling and a pale imitation of both the 2004 movie and the stage show this is directly adapted from.
Even the film’s marketing, which made the odd decision to bury the fact it’s a musical at all, feels somewhat embarrassed by the whole thing, and when you decide not to sell a film on the one thing that makes it unique - its music - it very much feels like a lost cause.
Granted, between the solid cast, the sparkling presence of Auliʻi Cravalho, passable songs, and a clear reverence towards the original, the whole thing is far from a complete busted flush, yet it’s also far from being what one might consider fetch. With all the charm and energy of a corporate TikTok post, this Mean Girls feels fatally flawed, disappointingly vapid, and, yes, pretty damn plastic.
While it certainly has its moments, Mean Girls is otherwise far from fetch. A word for word, bar for bar cover, this version of the 2004 classic shows little desire to do anything new with the material other than tack on a few songs. It’s the same film. Same plot. Same beats. Same characters. Same jokes. Same everything. Just devoid of anything that made the original work. The first film is a classic, still relevant, and has aged like fine wine. Go rewatch that instead.
